You are long gone and
I am left in a barren desert
accompanied by distorted memories
and I know it is unjust
that I can only remember
those few words
even if they were not
your last words.
They resonate within me
as if my mind was a hollow cave
which echoes of a pup’s anguished howl,
and I do not blame you
for speaking that way.
I can only recall that one scene –
you told me to cut off
my luscious hair
because it was too long for a boy,
because “You look like a sissy”.
I try to assert myself
that it would not matter if
I had told you I was gay
I attempt to rationalise
you sought to protect me
from words of bullies in the form of
emasculation in an all-boys school.
My uncertainty is an unquenchable thirst,
a repetitive investigation of
the purpose behind those few words,
and I did not get the chance to tell you
the way I felt
or the way I am
because you were gone way too soon
and all I have left is memories
that I try to reconstruct
to avoid deconsecrating
your image I hold dearly –
a woman remarkably graceful and kind.
One is able to find out more information about my poetry collection here: The A to Z of You and Me
Like a dog on a tight leash
bound to its master,
I have spun around the tiny room
that I am constrained to.
Only now I have realised
that I have been chained,
after seeing you paralysed
when you got coiled
by the leash you put around my neck.
I wonder to myself
how this happened to be.
You cannot bear
a day without my presence,
and like a devoted dog
I feel blessed that you dread
the idea of losing me.
Feel assured when I say,
I recognise your scent from miles away.
If either of us ever got lost
in a sea of crowds,
I promise to follow the trail
until I am by your side again.
I was once just a little boy
innocent and of pure intentions.
Only difference between me and angel
where the lack of fancy wings and halo.
Until the war came along –
I heard loud bangs on the closet.
The door cracked and I could see
a replicated me on the inside.
A never ending fight of who is the one
to control my behaviours.
The little boy tried to chain
those things that made me gay.
But the gay guy in me got fed up
of being tortured and abused.
A force beyond spirituality broke the chains
and the boy got stabbed in his puny heart.
The guy in the closet won
convinced that he would be forever free.
Yet, everyday he is haunted
by the guilt of the murder scene.
Check out my poetry book The A to Z of You and Me
from far above.
the blowing winds.
collectively in a continuous
Our ears enjoy their pleasant tunes,
our eyes astounded by their colours
our bodies tickled with their soft touch.
Birds are creatures from heaven
throughout species they are alike
yet we only protect and love
the ones that we find attractive.
If you liked this poem, go check out My Book.
Hibernation is ending,
everyone is waking up
from the harsh cold.
A flower comes to bloom,
flashing its bright colours
as if it was on the cover of Vogue Flowers.
Eyes starving from a dead winter
are taken into an epileptic fantasy,
a psychedelic trip
bombed by long-forgotten hues.
Celebrations are due,
rules and norms are forgotten
hop around and breed –
the spirit of Easter Bunny
has possessed our empty souls.
Spread more seeds
let Spring be vivid
to leave you in a nostalgic psychosis
once all that graceful beauty
Go check out The A to Z of You and Me, a collection of 26 poems.
Hi to all my readers!
I am excited to announce that I have published a poetry book, a collection of 26 poems! The book is called The A to Z of You and Me and is every poem is based upon my personal relationship. For more details on the book go to The A to Z of You and Me
Thank you for all your support!
He is the muse behind each of my poems,
the ink that I write with.
He is the music that my feet dance to
the air I breathe into,
the pillow that I read my head on.
In each of his smiles
I see his bright white teeth
and I feel warm inside.
With simple deeds and noble intentions
he shows his love towards me.
When I hear his voice
every cell in my body flies in excitement
seduced by Aphrodite.
He is the reason why
I am the man that I am today;
I try to be better than I used to be yesterday;
I will wake up smiling tomorrow.
P.S. My poetry book The A to Z of You and Me is out now, and can be bought from Amazon or Barnes and Noble. It is a 26 poem collection themed upon love and my relationship. Thank you for your support.
Alone in my room
I got those ugly winter blues,
hail scratching the window
trying to break in.
Frozen solid, I lay under the blankets,
I close my eyes to see you again.
You invade my head in my sleep,
I feel you holding me
in your warm big arms.
You keep playing these games on me
making me desire you,
I hear your raspy voice by my side
and I open my eyes.
All by myself,
wishing you were here with me
to wash the blues away.
I have been the vulnerable one,
a delicate flower of gentle nature
living by small amounts of water.
Feeling safe when you hold me in your arms,
you feel strong and important
precious like the last guard of a secret chamber.
Yesterday you were crying to be saved,
desperate in vulnerability.
I stood up and saved you,
became your hero even though
it is not a role that I am used to.
Now I wonder if I can ever go back
to being held delicately in your arms
as if you were the hero all along.
Six year olds
being six year olds
enjoying a break in class.
A girl, noticeably larger than the others,
two of her friends are laughing at her
for presumably passing gas.
The happiness that the children had suddenly disappears,
as she falls apart
lying on the floor
hyperventilating and crying.
Everyone gathers around
to see what is happening;
kids unknowing of the power words carry,
assuming she hit her head with a chair or a wall.
My eyes know that feeling,
a full-blown panic attack,
but this time I am not the one who is suffering,
it is a child, so young,
Thirty minutes pass by and she feels better
as soon as her mother arrives
to take her home.
She is determined
to never forgive those that she used to call friends.
In her mind,
they nearly killed her,
she has no idea how she survived.
If unintentional bullying
damaged a child who does not grasp
the meaning of things,
I wonder how much more harm
it can do to older kids,
who understand your words more,
who feel the pain cutting deeper.
I feel totally lost and confused at
how a person is determined to an inferior life right from the start,
because of their appearance.